Amnesia - condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to have another one.

Dumbwaiter - one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family Planning - the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

Feedback - the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Full Name - what you call your child when you're mad at him.

Grandparents - the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

Hearsay - what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable - a woman whose memory of labour is still vivid.

Independent - how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

OW - the first word spoken by children with older siblings.

Prenatal - when your life was still somewhat your own.

Puddle - a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show Off - a child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilise - what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

Top Bunk - where you should never put a child wearing Superman pyjamas.

Two Minute Warning - when the baby's face turns red and he begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal - able to whine in words.

Whodunit - none of the kids that live in your house.