When a caesarean was being explained we were told that if I had a general anaesthetic that my husband would not be allowed in with me. Consequently when I went in for the laparoscopy we assumed that he was not allowed in as the doctor insisted on a general anaesthetic.

When it was time for me to have my first egg retrieval I had learn more about what was allowed and what was not. I discovered that there is no law preventing someone going in with you to the operating theatre it is just hospital policy, which of course can be changed. I, now fortunately had a midwife that was a wonderful friend. She was able to answer some questions independently. I was very scared about going back into theatre. I now knew another lady and she had had a sedative before going in to try to help.

I told the nurses about my husband coming in with me and things were a little difficult. For both times I have had been back in for egg retrieval it has been the anaesthetists that have had a problem with my husband being there not the doctors. The first time they had to change the anaesthetist. Due to my experiences I would not risk going in on my own. I am sure that the doctors under normal circumstances would not do anything negative however if something went wrong and they did what I did not want, I would have not learnt anything would I? Doctors do not have to live with the consequences of there actions, especially everyday, my husband does. I know he has learnt a lot over the years.

The second time there were a little hiccup as they had not understood what we meant, this is where we discovered that my husband now stands up to doctors.

So to summarise, you are allowed someone in theatre with you to act as your advocate. They may not like it but it is your right. Just make sure that the person knows what you would want, preferably have it written on your forms, as I only said it verbally. Also make sure they will stand up to the doctors, may people do not feel confident doing this.

There was a saying that I learnt many years ago. ‘I can not hear what you are saying as who you are is louder’.

Some hospitals have a policy that no one is allowed in whilst you have your injections for example spinal block. Again this is only a policy and if it makes you feel more comfortable or more relaxed have someone in with you. There was no such policy in my hospital, there would have been no way I was doing that alone.