Advice from a friend

A little over 4 years ago something happened to my dearest friend. As a male I could not even begin to comprehend the enormity of what had happened...the trauma, the violation of her motherhood. I cannot think of anything that could be done to me which I would imagine as having the same effect both physically and emotionally. What did I do? Nothing. What's worse is that I didn't realise what signals my inactivity was sending out. I either couldn't cope, or didn't know how to. I froze. As a result I very nearly lost a special friendship.

Nowadays I help where I can, searching the internet for information. I can't change the past any more that anyone else, but I hope I can be of some help.

To any husband/partner out there I say this: Think to yourself how you might feel if you were diagnosed with testicular cancer, requiring removal of one or both testes. Try to imagine the psychological impact such an event is likely to have on you. Think hard, then multiply that impact 10 or 100 or 1000 times. Feel a sense of loss? Well think again. The loss you feel is as nothing compared to that felt by a loved one who's had something far far worse done to them, WITHOUT their consent and WITHOUT medical "justification". Don't make the same mistake I did. BE THERE for her. Find out all you can about what's happened, after all,

DOCTORS ARE NOT GODS

They may think they are, but they're imbued with the same failings as everyone else. They're fallible. They make mistakes. They have an over-inflated view of their importance. Good ones will admit when they've made a mistake. Bad ones (of which, sadly, there are far too many) will do their best to cover up. KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS!

The website appears to be coming along nicely. The biggest problem so far appears to be in obtaining hard, well documented statistics, which would perhaps need to be identified with their country of origin so as to show any differences in practices between countries.

AC May 2004